Too late

Here is my life. I'm living a fucking movie and I'm a damn good actor. I'm playing a sweet innocent happy character, but inside, I'm miserable. I'm hurting but I don't let it show. I try to stay above it all.

I try, don't ever tell me I didn't fucking try. I try all the time to be the person you so easily could be.

You let me in on a little peek of happiness. Just a little glimpse and it was like nothing I could ever dream of. Real happiness and joy, carelessness, and love are somethings that leave an imprint on you. You can cover it up, but it will always be there reminding you how things could be. How they should always be.

You showed me, then you took it all away.

You left me to learn my own lessons. Lessons you were teaching, that I could have been a part of it. I just stayed where I was while you left for better things. Once at the same level, you grew into something beautiful. Something, I fear I will never become. I will never be seen. I watched you leave, live life and become true.

Its been surprisingly easy to forget about it, all these years. Years wasted and spent doing stupid things. No purpose, no reason for anything. Just wasted time.

Now I'm afraid its too late.